NSFW Sunday: Everybody Else Really Wants To Simply Take a Lesbian Purity Test | Autostraddle

“A

love examination

is actually a self-graded study that analyzes the participants’ supposed amount of innocence in worldly issues (intercourse, drugs, deception, and other tasks assumed become
habits
), typically on a percentage level with 100percent becoming the essential and 0percent getting the least “pure”. Using the internet purity tests happened to be on the list of very first of
Web memes
, common on
Usenet
beginning in early 1980s. But comparable different exams distributed under various names a long time before the presence of the web.”

The best-known purity test in history is

The Unisex Purity Test,

created pre-1980 in the Massachusetts Institute of Technology Baker residence. In 1983, Carnegie Mellon developed a 247-question version. Numerous revisions occured given that net shot to popularity with a 2000-questions very long adaptation printed in autumn ’95.

Maybe you are familiar with the

Unisex Omnisexual Purity Test

, a 500-question version readily categorized since internet’s most widely used love examination.

We have been taking these ridiculous exams since the 90’s since it was the only thing you could perform on the web besides have cybersex with strangers. The questions include “have you previously engaged in hefty petting above the waist” to “had the head put into a urinal or toilet pan voluntarily?” or “bare or designed the vaginal pubic hair in some concept (moons, minds, expensive diamonds, clovers, etc.)?” or “had sex, oral sex, or [mutual] masturbation with an individual sort animal more often than once? (lively or dead.)” It gets a little nasty.

At an Oakland Autostraddlea meetup this weekend, the main topic of love exams emerged therefore believed it might be enjoyable to create our very own for Lezbos. We’re going to keep away from a number of the a lot more intense aspects of the first test.

WARNING:

Purity Assessments commonly PC. It’s just for fun. It really is nbd.

Because this is a lesbian love test, unless otherwise specified, the gender of one’s intimate spouse is actually an individual who determines as a woman (whether cis or trans or whatnot). Use your own meanings. It’s not a real examination. It really is anything you want it to be, like drawing with crayons on a blank sheet of paper.

++

LESBIAN SEX PURITY TEST

Give yourself one portion point for NO.

At the conclusion of the exam, the many “nos” shows exactly how pure you are in the lesbian sexworld. You’re able to respond to yes to each and every concern or no to every concern. There’s nothing mutually unique.

The Basics

Maybe You Have…

1. Held arms or cuddled with a female you used to be interested in?

2. Held arms or cuddled with a woman you used to be keen on who was simply additionally keen on you?

3. Gone on a night out together with a woman?

4. Kissed a female who identifies their particular sexual positioning as a lesbian or bisexual or any other lady-liking marketing?

5. Kissed a woman exactly who recognizes their own sexual positioning as right?

6. Kissed a woman just who identifies as direct it is obviously perhaps not straight?

7. Kissed a guy exactly who determines as either bisexual or heterosexual?

8. Kissed a guy who identifies as homosexual?

9. moved a woman from waist-up in an intimate or close method? (clothed or else)

10. moved a female from waist-down in a sexual or close method? (clothed or otherwise)

11. Masturbated?

12. Masturbated with a partner? (Mutual genital stimulation)

13. Masturbated while considering Shane?

14. Masturbated while considering some other lesbian character regarding teevee or in a film?

15. Had a sleepover (in identical sleep) with another woman?

16. Had a sleepover (in the same sleep) with another girl which result in sexual activities?

17. Had a sleepover (in the same sleep) with another girl which UNEXPECTEDLY result in intimate tasks?

18. Been in a monogamous relationship with another woman?

19. held it’s place in a polyamorous connection with one or more some other lady?

20. Had a climax?

Positons & designs

Ever …

21. “Dry humped?”

22. Had intercourse?

23. Scissored?

24. 69’ed?

25. 69’ed effectively?

26. Had anal intercourse (giver or receiver)?

27. Given or obtained oral gender?

28. Engaged in sexual activities you might identify as including slavery and control (B&D), popularity and submitting (D&s) or  sadism and masochism (S&M)?

29. Used a strap-on and other sex toy while having sex?

30. Used a strap-on during intercourse?

31. Damaged a strap-on or any other masturbator during intercourse?

32. Fingerblasted or already been fingerblasted?

33. Driven Hot Wheels over a woman’s clitoris?

34. become fisted or fisted another person?

35. Already been associated with a threesome with two additional women?

36. Already been taking part in a threesome with a person and a woman?

37. become taking part in group intercourse or an orgy?

38. Had telephone sex?

39. Had sex with a guy?

40. Had an orgasm during lover gender or intimate activities?

Associates

Have You Ever generated aside, had gender and/or oral sex with…

41 … somebody able of power over you (teacher, employer, advisor) or someone you are in a situation of energy over?

42 … a sports teammate or challenger?

43 … someone that was a student in the dresser?

44 … a celebrity or a celesbian?

45 … a closeted star or closeted popular (in your area, nationally or globally) individual?

46 … the straight companion?

47 …. your own lesbian best friend?

48 …. the friend’s gf or ex-girlfriend?

49 … a girlfriend?

50 …. more than five some other women (not always on the other hand)?

51 … above ten various other women (not always while doing so)?

52 … a stranger?

53 … an ex?

54 … somebody married to a guy?

55 … somebody married/civil unionized/domestic partnered/commitment ceremonied to a female?

56 … an existing or former sex employee?

57 … Whitney?

Have you kissed, made out or had gender with someone you came across…

58 …at homosexual conversion camp or other event/gathering/school designed to “remedy” you of your homosexuality?

59 … at an all-women’s college?

60 … via Autostraddle (‘cause they write for like, ‘cause you came across commenting, or at an Autostraddle meetup)?

61 … via tumblr or any other type web log?

62 … just before knew you had been homosexual? (such as: you first met this individual whenever you did not know you were gay, but connected using them later AFTER knowing you used to be gay)

63 … in school?

64 … in the office?

65 … at a bar or dance club?

Enjoying & hearing

Perhaps You Have had intercourse or made with someone while listening to…

66 Tegan & Sara?

67 Radiohead or Portishead?

68 Ani DiFranco?

69 Ani DiFranco — on purpose?

Have you ever…

70 saw directly pornography?

71 saw “lesbian porn” which is in fact actually just for straight individuals?

72 Watched queer lesbian porn made for/by genuine lesbians?

73 study lesbian pornography?

74 saw pornography with a sexual companion?

75 Watched

The L Term, Certain, Skins, Gia

or other lesbian movie/show with a woman you like hoping that it’ll your chances of benefiting from?

Location, Place, Place

Have you produced down or had intercourse with some one:

76  â€¦ in a bed?

77 … into the bathroom?

78  â€¦when there is a range to utilize the bathroom?

79  â€¦ and become knocked from the bathroom in making in it?

80 … in a religious building or host to worship?

81 … in a college or University building, whether you are a student, teacher or arbitrary civilian? (dorms you shouldn’t rely)

82 … within moms and dads’ house? (whether you reside with your parents or otherwise not)

83 … on a vessel, cruise ship, practice or plane?

84 … at Dinah Shore, The Michigan Womyletter’s songs Festival or Rodeo Disco?

85 … on Pride month or nationwide coming-out time?

86 … in a car?

87 … in the coastline or perhaps in the woods or anyplace that you place yourself at risk of getting soil, sand or simply leaves within ass?

88 … in a lodge or hotel space garnered specifically for the intention of making love?

89 … while becoming filmed or filming your self?

90 … in a body (pond, hot spa, etc)?

Etc.

Ever had sex while…

91 … you or your partner had been on your duration?

92 … you or your partner was pregnant?

93 … someone else ended up being enjoying or sex in identical space?

94 … in a foreign country?

Have you ever….

95 …had gender with a couple of folks in a 24-hour duration?

96 … licked hummus or candy off another woman’s hard nipples?

97 … had sex or sexual connections while intoxicated with alcohol?

98 … had intercourse while under the influence of cannabis or any other medications?

99 … had intercourse while pretending to get sober while you weren’t sober after all?

100 … had sex with a vehicle since you
mistook it for the next elephant
?

+

HOW NATURAL HAVE YOU BEEN? EXPRESS THE SCORE!

Various Hyperlinks of the Day:

from queerbrownxx.tumblr.com

Precisely why Lesbian Porn is The Best
:

“Lumpkin’s pornography doesn’t feel filthy. Hot, indeed, but dirty, no. And for each video, there is certainly a clip through the actresses writing on their particular knowledge from the set. This gives one’s body components a real face, the precise opposite of objectification.”

(@alternet) (do not always trust all the things here but it’s interesting nonetheless)

The reason why Traditional Porn Actually Prepared the real deal Sex
:

“Females, absolutely a significant difference between vaginal grooming for production value and also the outright homogenization of pussies.” (

@thedemoiselles)

The Twisted Arena Of  “Ex-Girlfriend” Porn
:

“The inherent breach and decreased permission present real “revenge porn” makes it many of the much more annoying wallpaper in the world of web porno — but perhaps the phony stuff shines a light about darker corners regarding the human being intimate psyche.”

(@salon)

There is a
bang yeah Jiz Lee
today, do you realize? It’s no
bang yeah autostraddle
, but it is pretty rad just the same. (@tumblr)

Intercourse information from pro-choice protestors
(@nerve)